I always think I’ll say the perfect thing so that someone hears what he/she needs. The magic of my words will break through the grid lock, lift the fog, provide that moment of clarity. Then, the right decision can be made. Rather arrogant on my part, don’t you think?

What I’ve come to realize is that moving from your home, where you’ve raised your kids, celebrated graduations, engagements, weddings, grandchildren, mourned loss and lows, collected memories is HARD. Leaving a community where you’ve made contribution and have dear friends is hard. Even when the move makes good sense, even when it is necessary, it’s still hard. Hard for husbands, wives, children and friends. We don’t like saying good bye.

When the move makes good sense and there’s no immediate need, usually nothing happens. So, we as a culture wait. I suggest that’s the time to do some exploring. Then, should the need arise, you’ve done your homework and have outlined some options.

When the move is necessary, the need is immediate and dictates action. There has often been an escalation in health issues, cognitive decline and/or an accident. Sometimes all of it. This does not make it any easier. In fact, it exerts its own emotional toll.

So, what I’ve seen is that we don’t always clear the hurdle. Sometimes we just bust through. Courage and necessity propel us. We may end up battered and bruised, but we get there.

This piece is dedicated with love to A and L.

You’re thinking about moving, your kids have been talking to you about it.  You don’t want to move, but maybe you should.  You’re looking for that clear sign. Please don’t let it be a broken hip.

Here are some things to think about.


What is important if you stay put?

Does the location of your home work?

How close are your neighbors?

How close are emergency services?

Will the size and layout of your current home meet your future needs and capabilities?

Do you have to climb stairs?

Are your bathrooms, kitchen and bedroom easily accessible?  Are they all on the ground floor?

Do you have plenty of lower cabinetry?

How wide are your hallways and door jams?  Can they accommodate a wheelchair?

Do you need a riding mower to mow your lawn?

Will care such as personal assistance, private duty, home health and housekeeping come to you?  Can you afford it?

Can family get to you easily?

Are you close to shopping, medical care, your hairdresser?

Do you have the financial resources to maintain your home?


What is important if you move?

Is it being close to family?

Or is it being close to the old neighborhood, friends and that which is familiar?

Are you looking for a smaller home with a smaller yard and less upkeep?

Are you considering some type of Senior Community with virtually no upkeep?

Are you looking for services such as prepared meals, housekeeping, transportation, social activities?

Do you need help with medication management?

What will your financial resources allow?


You have decided to move – what to do with your things?

You will likely move to a smaller space.  What of your furniture and belongings will fit in your new home?

What will you take?  What will you give away?

To whom will you give it?

How will you get it to them?  Will they want it?

What can you sell?  That beautiful piece of art may not command the same price you paid twenty years ago.

What will you donate?

What will you discard?  Will you need a dumpster-type-container or professional hauling service?

Who will pack, how long will that take?

Who will unpack and organize the kitchen, bathrooms and closets?  Who will make the beds and hang your art work?

Your kids?  How long will that take?  Do they have time?


These questions offer points to consider.  They cover the nuts and bolts and I hope they help in your decision-making process.  What they don’t cover is the emotions involved in this situation.  That will be the topic for June’s piece.