I always think I’ll say the perfect thing so that someone hears what he/she needs. The magic of my words will break through the grid lock, lift the fog, provide that moment of clarity. Then, the right decision can be made. Rather arrogant on my part, don’t you think?

What I’ve come to realize is that moving from your home, where you’ve raised your kids, celebrated graduations, engagements, weddings, grandchildren, mourned loss and lows, collected memories is HARD. Leaving a community where you’ve made contribution and have dear friends is hard. Even when the move makes good sense, even when it is necessary, it’s still hard. Hard for husbands, wives, children and friends. We don’t like saying good bye.

When the move makes good sense and there’s no immediate need, usually nothing happens. So, we as a culture wait. I suggest that’s the time to do some exploring. Then, should the need arise, you’ve done your homework and have outlined some options.

When the move is necessary, the need is immediate and dictates action. There has often been an escalation in health issues, cognitive decline and/or an accident. Sometimes all of it. This does not make it any easier. In fact, it exerts its own emotional toll.

So, what I’ve seen is that we don’t always clear the hurdle. Sometimes we just bust through. Courage and necessity propel us. We may end up battered and bruised, but we get there.

This piece is dedicated with love to A and L.

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